Dracula Jokes and Funny Facts

Dracula is one of my favorite fiction characters of all time. I was fascinated by his other-worldly charm and grace (Yes, Dracula has grace!) ever since I was given a copy of Bram Stoker's Dracula as gift on my 15th birthday. From that moment on, my interest in him grew as years passed. I watch every movie about the famous count and read every article I can find in the internet. Yes, you can guess that if he really exist I'll be his number one fan... and stalker?!

Here is a collection of my favorite Dracula jokes and I hope you enjoy them as much as I do.
 

DID YOU KNOW?

When Dracula goes out on a date with a woman he always feels like necking!

Dracula is a person who becomes jocular when viewing a jugular.

Dracula is definitely a pain-in-the-neck.

Dracula fell in love with a woman vampire, but they couldn't get married. You might say they loved in vein.

Not many people know this, but when Dracula was a boy he had to wear braces --- the poor kid had bucked fangs!

I've heard that when Dracula goes to sleep he sometimes has horrible bitemares.

Count Dracula has just run off with a giraffe. He fell madly in love as soon as he saw her neck!

Dracula is known to love flowers. On Sunday afternoons he can often be seen with his family at the Bat-anical gardens.

When he's through with one victim and ready for another, Dracula yells, "Neck-st!"

DRACULA AND THE DENTIST

"I'll have to charge you one hundred dollars to fill this cavity," said the dentist to Dracula.
"But that's impossible!" answered Dracula. "Your rates are only twenty dollars per cavity."
"Generally that's correct, but as soon as you came into the waiting room you frightened away all my other patients.:

When Dracula woke up from the anaesthetic, he saw the dental surgeon standing over him.
"I've got some good news and some bad news," said the dentist. "First the bad news --- I pulled the wrong fang. Now the good news --- your other fang doesn't need pulling after all."

"Mommy," said young Dracula, "That dentist wasn't painless like he advertised."
"Did he hurt you dear?"
"No, but he screamed just like any other dentist when I bit his pinky."

DRACULA AND FRIENDS

Dracula said to Wolfman, "I hate to be the one to tell you this, but you look like you're going to the dogs!"

Dracula took his ghoul-friend to the theater. After the show, he took her for a bite!

Dracula thinks of children as his own flesh and blood...
...He's always happy to have another child. He says, "I like to feel I'm bringing new blood into the business."

Dracula and an Indian were having a rest after giving blood at the clinic.
"Are you a full-blooded Indian? asked Dracula.
"Usually I am," replied the Indian, "but right now I'm a couple of pints short."


DRACULA'S FAMILY

Dracula's son: All the boys at school tease me --- they say I'm a vampire.
Mother: Don't pay any attention to them --- they're just ignorant children. Now finish your soup before it clots.

Dracula's son shows signs of becoming a real artist --- he loves to draw blood.

Dracula's caring wife said to him, "You don't look well --- your eyes are all bloodshot."

Dracula's son: What's a dentist?
Dracula: Just think of her as a filling station.

Dracula's wife claims a dentist is someone with a lot of pull.


SO...

If you open your door and see Dracula, what should you do?
Me? I'll pray it's Halloween!


P.S.

Just a thought --- does Dracula have a wisdom fang?